Okay, let's be real. SiriusXM? In the age of Spotify, Apple Music, and whatever other streaming service pops up next week, is this really still a thing? I mean, seriously.

Satellite Radio's Last Gasp?

So, the fact sheet tells me that SiriusXM is still pumping out content in 2025. Bills-Texans on the radio? Pope Leo XIV chatting with high schoolers? Ted Cruz spouting off on Stephen A. Smith's show? Miss World Chile apparently has a metal band? Okay, that last one is kinda cool, I'll admit. But the rest? It feels like we're clinging to the past here.

Look, I get it. Some people like the curated experience. They want someone else to pick the music, the talk shows, whatever. But is that enough to justify paying for satellite radio in 2025? When you can build your own playlists, listen to any podcast under the sun, and have it all available on your phone? I’m struggling to see the value proposition. It's like paying for cable when you can just stream everything. Why would you?

And the channel numbers? Channel 226 for the Bills? 225 for the Texans? Who even remembers channel numbers anymore? We're in the era of search bars and voice commands. "Hey Siri, play some metal!" Boom. Done. No remembering some obscure three-digit code.

The Illusion of Choice

They're trying to sell us on this "home, away, and national feeds" nonsense. Give me a break. It's still the same freakin' game. Just with different announcers. Is that really worth the subscription fee? I mean, I'm all for options, but this feels like the illusion of choice. Like those "value meals" that are just smaller portions for slightly less money.

And don's get me started on the "expert analysis." Every talking head on sports radio thinks they're Nostradamus. They get paid to have opinions, most of which are wrong anyway. Why would I pay to listen to some dude tell me what I already know – or think I know – about the Bills' chances this year?

Then there's the Katie McGrady show on the Catholic Channel. Now, I ain't Catholic, but I'm sure some folks are into that. But Pope Leo XIV doing a digital dialogue with high school students? That sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie, not real life. Are we sure this isn't some AI-generated hologram situation? Because honestly, in 2025, I wouldn't be surprised. You can Listen Live: Pope Leo Speaks with Students & Katie McGrady.

Desperate Measures

And then there's Craig Conover and Madison LeCroy from "Southern Charm" flapping their gums on Jeff Lewis Live. Reality TV stars offering profound insights? Yeah, that's what the world needs more of. It's not like there's a shortage of useless celebrity gossip.

Ted Cruz on Stephen A. Smith? Offcourse, that's a match made in... well, somewhere. I won't say heaven. Two guys who love to hear themselves talk, battling it out over Trump and NIL deals. Riveting.

But hey, at least Miss World Chile is keeping it real with the metal. That's something I can respect. Beauty with a purpose AND a love for Lamb of God? Okay, SiriusXM, you got me there. Maybe there's still a glimmer of hope. Maybe.

So, What's the Real Story?

It's a dinosaur shuffling towards the tar pit. They're throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks—popes, politicians, reality TV stars, metalhead beauty queens. But the future is streaming, baby. And SiriusXM is just clinging to the past.